21 Aug 2011

'Only on paper' / 'Samo po papiru'





























I teach Baby Z to draw "only on paper" (for now). I prefer using this affirmative sentence instead of negative sentences like "we don't draw on the table or the wall".  A lot of repetition is necessary in order for  a toddler to accept and understand this. Every time the point of her pencil slips off the paper to the table, I gently move it back to the paper and say: "We draw only on paper."
Before I was a mom I thought, that one day, I would let my own kids draw where ever they wanted - in order not to inhibit them! Ahem. Now I see that this was an unrealistic concept. How would I, then, explain to them that it is ok to draw on the walls in our house, but that it's not ok to draw on the walls in grandma's house, aunt's house, friends, or any other place? And how would I, then, explain to a kid (toddler), that it is ok to draw on the walls, but that it's not ok to draw on furniture, clothes, floors and carpets, shoes...?
Now I think that it is totally ok to explain a kid (toddler) that there are places ment for drawing, and other places that are not. What is important here is to make it clear - drawing (scribbling) is ok, but some places are not ment for it!
When drawings (scribbles) appear at 'undesired' places, it's ok to involve the kid in the cleaning process, without making a big deal out of it, and showing that cleaning is a normal part of creating (a mess!), and also making it clear that the scribbling is ok, but the place for it was not!

























Za sada učim bebu Z  da crta "samo po papiru".  Više volim da koristim afirmativne rečenice - šta sme da radi, nego zabrane tipa "ne crta se po stolu ili ne crta se po zidu".
Potrebno je puno ponavljanja da bi dete ovo usvojilo. Svaki put kada vrh njenog flomastera ili olovke sklizne sa papira na sto, vratim ga na papir i kažem: "samo po papiru". 
Dok nisam postala mama mislila sam da ću - jednoga dana - svojoj deci dozvoljavati da crtaju gde god žele - da ih, kao, ne bih sputavala. Međutim, sada vidim da to nije realno. Kako bih onda objasnila detetu da se sme crtati po zidu naše kuće, ali ne i kod bake, ne kod tetke, ne u vrtiću, ne na drugim mestima. I kako bih objasnila detetu da se sme cratati po zidu, ali ne i po nameštaju, odeći, podu, cipelama...?
Sada mislim da je sasvim u redu objasniti detetu da je na nekim mestima u redu crtati, a na nekim drugim mestima - ne.  Važno je samo da, tom prilikom, ne pošaljemo detetu poruku da žvrljanje nije u redu ili da ga povezujemo sa negativnim osećanjima - ljutnjom, omalovažavanjem (o ovome je već bilo reči ovde), već da budemo precizni: žvrljanje je ok, ali neka mesta nisu za žvrljanje.
Kada se i desi da dete crta na "nedozvoljenim" mestima, ne treba ga grditi. Dobro bi bilo uključiti ga u proces čišćenja,  bez pridavanja prevelikog značaja tome i prikazujući čišćenje kao normalan i sastavni deo stvaranja, pri tom vodeći računa da detetu bude jasno da je njegovo crtanje (žvrljanje) ok, ali da nije odabrao dobro mesto za to. Odmah zatim, možemo mu ponuditi papir i ponoviti da se crta "samo po papiru."

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